Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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