Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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