This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
