awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
These tits shall not be calmed
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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