We need to rekindle our bromance
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
