btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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