bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
