She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
