I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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