Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
