i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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