Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
