is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
