Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Congratulations! We have a period
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