How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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