I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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