Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
