So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
