i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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