Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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