I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
