Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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