That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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