Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
