I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
