"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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