so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
