saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
