only if we run a train.
done.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
