Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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