I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
