How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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