I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
