The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
