I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
