was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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