Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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