FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
