I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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