May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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