If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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