You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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