Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
