Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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