MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
