Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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