I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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