i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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