we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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