i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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