how can u be prego again
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize