Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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