Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize