i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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