mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
