dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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