I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
