If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
